why suspension of disbelief is a superpower
[Answering a question about reframes]
I'm not even sure this counts as a reframe, but it springs to mind. It's an incredibly easy technique for when listening to people talk about stuff that gets on my nerves (or used to) because I know they're wrong, or maybe even lying, but I can't prove it. I kind of stumbled into this method when I was spending a lot of time with people who had schizophrenia, and they were experiencing delusions. I was listening to a woman telling me that the pigeons had told her that she was evil and that God was going to punish her by making her float up to the sun to get burned alive, and she was genuinely terrified.
Of course, she was not lying, while at the same time, none of what she said was really going to happen. But it was her reality at that moment in time, and to try to correct her would have caused her distress. That wasn't my job anyway. So what I did while listening to her, (and many others who were experiencing similar delusions), was I stepped out of my version of reality and into hers for the duration of our conversation, not so as to encourage her fears, but to listen with compassion. And I had this image in my mind which I call the "reality bubble".
This became such a useful tool for my whole life, which I now apply to anyone who is talking about something that I disagree with. Dealing with humans gets easier when you remind yourself that everyone exists inside their own reality bubble. It's very easy to visualise. Everyone's inside a bubble. So am I. When someone is talking to me about stuff I don't believe in or don't agree with, I simply visualise myself stepping out of my bubble of reality and into theirs. Then I chill. I listen to them like I'm watching TV. I activate suspension of disbelief: this is everybody's superpower to protect their peace of mind and that of others.
I am always a polite guest inside the other person's reality bubble, and I know this: my bubble is waiting safely for me right where I left it. When the conversation is over, I step out of their bubble and back into my own where I am still me, where everybody else is still them. Nobody's sense of identity was threatened; nobody's beliefs were challenged; and nothing has changed.
If I like something they said, I copy paste it into my own bubble. If I didn't, I leave it. Simple.