how I know I've won an argument
An argument ends the same way it did on an old-fashioned battlefield: the one who retreats has lost. The one who remains has won. It’s normal for people to lose an argument and deliver one parting shot, one last insult as they storm away, slam a door, or hang up the phone. This is how they lose. It’s very rare for someone to lose graciously, admit they were wrong and apologise.
When I realised this, I stopped reacting to the other person’s parting shot. I allowed them to have the final word. I even offered it to them, saying calmly while they shouted, “I am not arguing with you. You can walk away whenever you like. You can even have the last word. I mean it.” By offering them the last word, its power was extinguished. It lost the element of surprise. Their words, however insulting, fell flat being met with calm silence. Their words were merely an attempt to save face before they stormed away in a huff.
I stopped saying, “Don’t walk away from me”, or “How dare you hang up on me”. I stopped because the second they removed themselves, the winner was decided. Chasing after someone reverses the position and continues the argument, granting them the upper hand, rejecting your own victory. Letting them retreat while remaining calm and quiet is now my method.